I struggled to write todays post because I wanted to be transparent. I didn’t have a great week. I struggled to be happy and it was hard to keep striving... But God. God is what gets me through every single day. The good and the bad days. When circumstances don’t make sense and life gets really rough. It is easy to allow anxiety and depression to creep in. Everything seems harder. Waking up seems pointless. Well this week, God showed me that life is about more than just my emotions.
Having a farm doesn’t really allow me to sit in my feelings for too long. We have 12 chickens, 2 dogs, and a cat that all depend on us for their daily needs. They require time, attention, care, and love. I don’t get the option to ignore their needs because I don’t feel up to it. So I say a prayer asking for strength, get up, and do my chores. I start to feel the obligation turn into joy when I take my eyes off myself and see the gifts that I have been given.
“Constant Vigilance!” A phrase that Mad-Eye Moody, well technically Barty Crouch Jr. used in Harry Potter is something I felt being yelled at me this week. I think it sums up the action behind 1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” On the farm I am constantly watching for predators. The same goes for my day to day. The devil tries everything to bring us down and being vigilant in my faith is key to fighting those battles.
Sometimes in order to get through a rough patch you have to fix your eyes on what lies ahead and run towards it! Hope for the future, even just the near future, helps me shift my focus. Christmas is my absolute favorite holiday but it has some baggage attached, hard memories and things I don’t want to re-live. So instead of focusing on those, I shift my energy to create new ones. Like matching pjs for the animals or being able to decorate our new home!
Taking time to reflect on our progress really does help too. C.S. Lewis put it this way, “It’s funny how day by day nothing changes. But when you look back, everything is different.” How true is that! We miss the small changes and sometimes even dismiss them. But it is all the small things that lead to big change! One year ago today I was not the person I am today, and for that I am thankful.
Sharing our farm helps shift the focus off myself and onto Gods plan for us. I truly believe that God brought us to Tennessee for more than just a hobby farm. His continued provisions are proof of that! I see God’s goodness around me every single day and it fuels my faith for sure!
His mercies truly are new every morning! No matter what the day holds He has already granted me the strength to get through it! I thank God for these lessons. They are not always easy to learn but knowing that God never stops chasing after my heart is all I need to keep my chin up and my faith firm.
How can I pray for you this week?
Please leave a comment below.
You guys are doing great and I'm so proud of you. You are definitely right that you are not the same person you were last year. I would have never believed that you guys would have become farmers. I love you pictures and watching your farm evolve. You are such a strong and wonderful person. God is using you you guys and your farm in ways you don't even know. Keep you chin up. God promises not to give you more than you can bare. He is allowing things to happen in your life to strengthen and prepare you for something in the future. I love you and I'm here anytime you need something.
Love you so much, sis! Thank you for this!!!
Amanda this was so well written we all face challenges and the goal is to be able to give over and allow growth thank you for the strength to share your honest self. Proud of you love you