Yahweh Yireh “the LORD will provide.” The Hebrew word yireh can mean either “to see” or “to provide.” I love that our God sees and provides. As y'all know, the last several months have been one trial after another. From infertility to compounding loss, this year has brought a lot of hard moments. BUT GOD. He has helped us through each of those situations. It is only through HIS hope and peace, that we are able to keep pushing forward.
Can I share how I know God saw me in the midst of my hurt? I lost a very dear friend about 2 weeks ago. A tragic and confusing loss. The week after her passing was honestly a blur. I was in complete shock. I don't remember how I got through each day. I tried so hard to focus on work but couldn't. I just found myself wanting to sit with God and try to understand this. I never will understand this, but what God did do was show me that I was not alone.
I don't know about you but there are times in my life that I don't always "feel" the presence of God. I struggle with my emotions, allow my feelings to overrule reality. This is how I felt last week. I knew her funeral was schedule on Trexy's due date. I did not want to miss that. I prayed specifically that God was either allow Trexy to deliver Thursday or Sunday, and the it would not be at 2am like Madeline's delivery. I prayed specifically that God would show me that He was still here with me, carrying me through this grief once again.
I sat outside watching our farm, mourning the loss of my friend, crying from the compounded loss, praying for this provision. I trusted that God was with me. I did my best to walk through our day believing that. Trusting that God would be with us, even if it didn't feel like it. Thursday evening Jordan took Bella outside one more time before we headed to bed, he called for me immediately after stepping outside. Jordan had checked on Trexy about an hour earlier and she was content and chewing her cud with the rest of the herd, so I thought maybe her labor was just starting. I got my coveralls on, grabbed my headlamp, and headed up to the barn. I was immediately met by a very excited Charlie who lead me straight to the darling new calf sitting up next to a very confused mama Trexy.
Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus for seeing me, for showing me that you heard my plea. Even in the smallest and seemingly unimportant details of when a calf was born, thank you. I thanked Him immediately. God saw me and reminded me that he was with me. He eliminated the worry I may have faced, while at a funeral wondering if a first time heifer would have any difficulty delivery, need intervention, have complications, and just about everything else that you can worry about. He provided peace. He provided comfort. He reminded me that His presence is not dependent on my feelings. Praise Jesus.
Our sweet little calf is healthy, strong, and spunky! We spend several days mulling over names for her and ultimately decided on Luna. She was born under the moon, and has a small white spot on her hind end, which for Dexters is very uncommon. We later learned that this can be caused by maternal heat stress, which is likely since we experienced a very hot summer. Thankfully it is just a cosmetic thing and there is no signs of any injury to the calf, and the spot may even grow out as she ages.
Trexy has been a wonderful and protective mama. The only intervention we had to do was help Trexy nurse the first time. Every time Luna would try, Trexy would spin around. So we put Trexy in the halter to keep her still and Luna was able to nurse without any issues. Now that Trexy understood what she was supposed to do, we let her out of the halter and moved her and baby to the maternity ward in the barn. We do this to allow mama to calm down and bond with her baby without the rest of the herd stressing her out. We let Trexy determine when she wanted to rejoin the herd, which she did after two days.
We are so thankful for our sweet, healthy Luna but I am much more grateful for God's provision.
"Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble" Psalm 107:1-2
How can I pray for you?
I am in a season of deep grief and yes, He keeps showing up. I feel like He has let me know many times since June that He sees my pain and gives me little signs, something to believe in.
Prayers for you.
(That calf is adorable!!!)
It is is the smallest most personal ways He reminds us that His love endures forever. Love you sweetheart 💕